Helande Drama

Make gratitude a habit

Gratitude increases the feeling of happiness both in the short run and with a long time perspective. In fact, research* shows that the general level of happiness increases with time if we constantly practise gratitude. So a person who continuously focuses on being grateful will, after going through hard times, return to a higher level of happiness then before. As if there was a reference point of the general level of happiness in us all.

A new year can mean starting a good habit, ie of this named gratification training. A good example to do so can be to fill a jar with something good of every day in a year. On New Year's eve 2017 you can open all the 365 gratitude notifications and see how much you actually have in your life. It can be the smallest of things and especially those things you take for granted ie; happiness to live in a nice home, to have food on the table, to be able to say what you want because you live in a democratic country. Or it could be goals you've achieved, an LOL moment, a quote, daily blessings and memories to be saved. 

I did this

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Beyond sympathy/antipathy

Feelings come and go all the time and can make you believe in them being real. Well, in Mindfulness therapies and related we learn to observe feelings; you have feelings but they don't say much of who you are. Or anything about others for that matter.

This is especially true when we come to feelings of sympathy and antipathy.  To put it in the frame of psychological language, sympathy is when you have positive feelings for others. Which are often based on seeing qualities you like in yourself. Sometimes there can even be an admiration for someone’s characteristics; traits you still haven’t developed yourself. Antipathy is obviously its contrary. Projected feelings of those negative qualities we don't see or know of, but dislike in ourselves.

People who are used to work upon themselves and have some insight in their own psychology, will have heard of this. What's interesting is when we look beyond the feelings of sympathy/antipathy and try to change how we see the other person. Since ourselves are the only persons we can change.

The brain finds it hard to change the way it sees things or people and will likely not change its opinion of someone.

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What is success?

boat sunsetWhat is success? I asked some friends and acquaintances, some weeks ago, in a discussion.

The answers varied according to each ones belief systems, values and cultural background.
Because isn’t that just how it is; we can’t say what real success or real luck is for anyone. In this world of today and in Western societies where much emphasis is on having the ‘right’ education, partner, job etc., we are fostered into believing what it is to succeed and be happy.

Many Zen stories have inspired me in life and one of them especially fits well on the theme of what real success and happiness is. It is about this fisherman who lives a simple life and every evening just catches as much fish as he needs for him and his family. One evening as he sat on the beach with his small draught and enjoyed the beautiful sunset, a business man approaches him. He asks the fisher why he doesn’t try to get more fish so that he could sell some of it. That could in return give the fisherman enough money to buy a bigger boat, go further out on the sea and catch even more fish. Eventually

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Act as if...

In my previous blog, 3,5 years ago...for many reasons...I wrote about identity and what we identify with. How we can change the stories we tell ourselves. Which is very interesting! And to continue a boit on this theme; in this blog I explore how we can make small changes and get big changes in our perspectives!

We all need to use different tools from time to time in order to feel better, loosen knots in our relationships, get structure and organize our time better, or whatever it may be.
It strikes me very often how much I myself can influence my perceived part of reality; especially for how I feel and to become more grounded, strong, centered.

One is how we think and the other is how we act. We can also say working from the inside out (thoughts and words shape how I look at life) or from the outside in (biochemical processes which in turn affect emotions and happen when we use the body to strengthen and make ourselves more resourceful such as to stretch / use high-status language / act as if we were in the desired state).

So what we think about ourselves and a

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